Love: Why do you want it?

As I think about love, I remember having a conversation with a male friend about this topic.

Love is such a small word, but it’s so complex, and depending on the person, it can be difficult to define.

We often learn love from the environment we’re in it, whether we received it and was allowed to show or if we didn’t see it all, or if we knew a person loved us, they just never showed it.

Despite how you grew up, a lot of women want to experience love. No, not love from a parent, child, or friend, but love from a man. Do we know why this is?

Recently, I was complaining about being in my late twenties and although I’m on the right career path, I’m single with no prospects for my future husband or a man to be the father of my future children. So I was asked, “Why do you want love and what do you want from?” This question had me speechless, which is very rare. I know that I want love so I won’t be alone as my age continues to increase and friends and old peers begin to have kids, tie the knot, or both and I feel like I’m missing out on something so wonderful in life. I want to be able to share my life with someone else other than my family. That’s why I want love, but I wasn’t able to clearly answer the second the part of the question, “Why do you want it?” My respond was, “What woman doesn’t want love?”  I answered the question with a question because I don’t know how else to answer it.

We [women] complain about men and how they’re not ready for love or ready to take the next step, but maybe it’s us? Maybe we don’t know what we want and when someone does come around who could be what we want, we turn them away, because we’re scared. We’re scared that he may hurt us, or damage, or love us!

Women want so much from men physically, but when the time comes, often we put on a shield and scare them away.

So, I ask you why do you want love and what do want from it? Are you willing to give a man a try who wants to love or will you push him away- until he feels hurt and helpless?


Let ‘Em Go #LAsAdvice

As we grow, and succeed and become that person we’ve always dreamt we’d be in life, we will lose people who we thought would be in our corners forever. It hurts when the time comes, you’re confused, you feel like you did something wrong, and you’re trying to come to terms with the fact that this person is no longer your friend. I know you’ve probably heard this saying too many times to count, but some people are in your  life for a reason and then there’s those who God put in your life for a season.  If a person can’t be happy for you and celebrate your success with you, like it’s their own success, then let that person go! Life is too short and too precious to spend with people who don’t care about you or your accomplishments. So, today just let those people go! Don’t stress over them not wanting to be apart of this new chapter in your life. Yes it’s hurtful and yes it’s hard to take in, but that’s life- people come and people, you just have to learn how to allow them to leave and let them go, so you can flourish.

Do You! #LAAdvice

We all have that one friend, or that one family member who loves to tell everyone else what they should or shouldn’t be doing. You know that family member that tells you not to talk to Darnell, because he’s a ladies man, meanwhile she’s taking care of her baby daddy, Jodi, who still lives at home with his mother and he’s sleeping with his other baby mama? Or that woman from church who tells you need to stay out them night clubs, getting naked for any and everyone but she’s low key creeping with Deacon Brown? A sin is a sin, so you showing your pussy for bands is no different than her popping it for free.

We live in a judgmental world, a world that will build you up and tare you back down if you allow it. We can’t base what we do and how we choose live life off of others perceptions, otherwise we’ll never be happy in what we do. Remember that there’s always someone judging you, there’s always someone, somewhere turning their nose up at you. So, if you want to strip, strip, if you want to mess with a dope boy, do you, and if you want to hold back on sex until you get married, then do that. But don’t let anyone stop you from doing you, because blessings come in all forms, shapes, and sizes and you don’t won’t to miss out on yours blessing, living life how someone else wants you to live.


Attention Ladies

Heartthrob and actor Idris Elba has an offer we can’t refuse. By entering his Omaze charity fundraising campaign, you could win a date with the melanin gawd himself. “That’s right, love,” Elba said, seducing us with his accent. “Just you and me. No one else around. Just us.” The money raised will help schoolgirls in Sierra…

via Take All Our Money: Idris Elba Is Raffling Off A Valentine’s Day Date For Charity — Black America Web

Does Your Body Count Matter?


What are body counts and why do they matter? Or maybe a better question is, do they matter? Today, people are defining body counts as the number of bodies you’ve had sexual relations with. This topic seems to be more sensitive and emotional for  women than it is for men. Why? Because for men, having sex with  a lot of women is good thing! A lot of men will put his penis in any woman, just to say he did it.  But then that same man will be repulsed and wouldn’t want to marry a woman with a body count number as high his.

Most women have standards when it comes to sex- they don’t just want to have sex with a man, so they can brag to their girls about how good or bad his “eggplant” was. Women typically have sex with a man because there are feelings involved. They want to connect with a man on a different level, or in some cases they just want to pleasure their man.

But what happens when the woman’s  sexual needs aren’t being met? She’s single and want to be pleasured by a man that she’s in love with and the feelings are mutual,  but that doesn’t always happen. So, does she increase her body count and continue to sleep with man after man, who may or may not give her that mind blowing sex she’s so desperately want? Sex, where she may or may not experience an orgasm?  Or does she just wait around to find true love? Maybe that man can make all of her sexual fantasies come true?

The women readers of MAD have different opinions. One reader said it doesn’t matter.

Honestly, I think it shouldn’t matter. Men have always felt like they didn’t want to date a woman with too many sex partners because they didn’t want a “loose” woman, but research shows a woman’s vagina can not become more loose from a large number of sexual partners. Most guys who think they’re sleeping with women with low body counts have almost twice the number he believes she has. So really what does it matter how many men she slept with?

Is the issue that women don’t want to feel loose when they do meet the right one or is it more so that women don’t want to give their body to just to anyone? After all, your body is your personal sanctuary, so is few orgasms worth it?

I think body count matters, no guy wants to marry a girl that has slept with a million people. It’s also self respect for me and knowing my self worth not to be giving the cookie to anyone. It’s a prized procession and I don’t think prize procession are for just anyone.

Body count, it’s a funny phrase and some time it’s an overlooked phrase. People often have sex, men and women alike and not even care or think about how many people they’re allowing ‘in.’ What’s your take on body count? Do you just let men in so that you can get that sexual satisfaction? Or do you go without and wait, hoping, praying you get what you want in the long run?


F*** sex! Get a toy. You can have sex with 10 people and still not find what you’re looking for.