Morning Motivation Day 7

Women, stop allowing people to make you feel bad for being single and childless. The most common question I get asked is “When will I see a husband and some kids?” Then they like to assume I’m “lonely” because I live alone. 

Just to confirm lonely as defined by The Webster is “sad because has no company or friends.” Alone is defined as “having no one else present; on ones own” or “single.” 

We have to stop letting people influence our feelings towards relationships,life, and building a family. If you’re not for that lifestyle, then don’t get in to it. Most of the people who’s encouraging it won’t be there when you need them, some just want to see your struggle, and some will be there for you, but not how they’re claiming they will be. 

Live life and build at your own pace. You’re the only who has to live that life everyday.

Morning Motivation Days 4

Photo Courtesy: Urban Faith

First I’m going to speak on Black women. Women, you have to tone it down with your attitude and your delivery, especially if you’re raising a Black son! When you’re getting mad at the drop of a dime and be damn near ready to fight everyone in sight, you’ve got to remember you have a son watching you, a son who will have it a lot harder than you when he grows up. So when he grows us and behaves the same way he witnessed you behave  (and I promise you he will, if you don’t change) he’s going to be in jail or in a coffin. You have to realize that the only people who want to see Black Men succeed and excel is Black Women, everyone is silently waiting on your son to screw up so you can “lose” him. 

I’ve withnessed angry boys as young as three. This boy will get mad at anything and since he’s only three, that anger is going to continue to grow. I met this child’s mom and she was very angry and bitter and I knew that’s why he has so much anger built up in him. If you care about your son, you work on releasing your other than hollering, cusssing, and being angry. 

Morning Motivation Day 2

We often unintentionally try to force things (like relationships, jobs, etc.) but if God put something in your life for you, you won’t have to get hurt (emotionally, physically, or verbally) for it. Of course, you’ll have to work to prove to Him that you want it (because face it, nothing comes easy) but you won’t get hurt for it. So, for example, if you feel like the current woman/man in your life  is meant for you and everyone is trying to convince you that that’s the case as well, pay attention to everything, watch out for the signs, and when you pray about that person and ask God questions, listen to His answers! What’s meant to be in your life will be in your life, trust and believe that. 

Morning Motivation Day 1

This morning when I woke up, like every other morning, I had so many inspirational and positive thoughts flowing through my mind. This morning the word “toxic” was all I kept thinking about. Then I began to think about all the toxic things in life from the pop I drink, to the drive thrus I go through, and the people I allow in my life. I told myself beginning next month I’m letting all that stuff go… Then I said “Why wait? The more time that pass by, the more I may change my mind and find excuses for the toxic.” I told myself today is the day I let it all go! I encourage you all to do the same! Don’t give yourself a specific date because you’re setting yourself up. On the day, vow to eliminate the toxic in your. Of course it won’t happen over night, so don’t get discouraged. If you believe, you will achieve. 

For the Ladies Part l

Ladies, you know how a million thoughts cross your mind when a man begins to act different or takes a little  too long to text back? We think “Did I do something wrong? Is he no longer attracted to me? Maybe he has someone else..” If you say “I can’t relate.” I’m calling your bluff.

 We typically blame ourselves first and then begin to think outside of the box later. When I say think outside the box, I mean stop having a pity party and blaming ourselves and (if it’s even worth it) try communicating with him to determine what the underlying issue is. Maybe he’s a little self conscious and has self issues, so something in him won’t allow him to communicate and build with you on the level he wants. He can also be scared of committment and the growing feelings he has for you.

Men have issue just like women do, but whereas women like to talk about their emotions, men like to play coy, hard, and act like they don’t care. Women get hurt and men get hurt, but how we cope with that hurt differs. You’d be surprised how being a little blunt (in expressing how you feel) and considerate of his feelings and just open minded in general in what you want from him can open the door for an amazing relationship… 

Then there’s the option that you may leern that your intial feelings were right and he has “moved on,” but the upside to that is you know you no longer have to waste time on him and continue to ask yourself “what’s wrong me!?” It’s never you. Don’t blame yourself ladies.

The Holiday Season: Joyful Vs. Heartbreaking

There was once a time when I noticed friends changing up during this time of year and not really showing interest in different events I’d invite them to pertaining to the holiday season. I’d assume “She’s acting phony,” and just stop reaching out to them and when their behaviors reciprocated mine, I was really like “Forget them!” 

One day, maybe four years ago, I was with my family, my mom, my dad, siblings, nieces, and nephew and we were preparing for Thanksgiving. We had our Christmas music on, my dad was in the kitchen, my mom and sister were putting up a tree and we were all just enjoying the moment and each other. Then a friend came to mind, a friend who’d lost a parent. I asked myself “How would you feel if you lost one of them (a family memeber)? Could you move on? How different would this season be without them?” I couldn’t answer the questions. I never want to be able to answer the questions, but I did think about things from a different point of view. I realized that friend who I thought was acting “fake” is probably going something way bigger than I’d ever thought. I realized that that friend is probably hurting so much inside but doing a damn good job of playing it off and maybe this person needs my love, support, and conversation more than anything right now. 

This post is just to remind you to remember those friends as you celebrate with your loved ones. Keep them uplifted in your prayers and continue to reach out to them. You may not always get the response you want but at least they know you’re there if the need arise. If you’re reading this post and you are without a loved one, just know that you are loved and prayers are being said, specifically for you. So many don’t know what you’re going through but they’re there you and comfort you in any way you need.

Love: Why do you want it?

As I think about love, I remember having a conversation with a male friend about this topic.

Love is such a small word, but it’s so complex, and depending on the person, it can be difficult to define.

We often learn love from the environment we’re in it, whether we received it and was allowed to show or if we didn’t see it all, or if we knew a person loved us, they just never showed it.

Despite how you grew up, a lot of women want to experience love. No, not love from a parent, child, or friend, but love from a man. Do we know why this is?

Recently, I was complaining about being in my late twenties and although I’m on the right career path, I’m single with no prospects for my future husband or a man to be the father of my future children. So I was asked, “Why do you want love and what do you want from?” This question had me speechless, which is very rare. I know that I want love so I won’t be alone as my age continues to increase and friends and old peers begin to have kids, tie the knot, or both and I feel like I’m missing out on something so wonderful in life. I want to be able to share my life with someone else other than my family. That’s why I want love, but I wasn’t able to clearly answer the second the part of the question, “Why do you want it?” My respond was, “What woman doesn’t want love?”  I answered the question with a question because I don’t know how else to answer it.

We [women] complain about men and how they’re not ready for love or ready to take the next step, but maybe it’s us? Maybe we don’t know what we want and when someone does come around who could be what we want, we turn them away, because we’re scared. We’re scared that he may hurt us, or damage, or love us!

Women want so much from men physically, but when the time comes, often we put on a shield and scare them away.

So, I ask you why do you want love and what do want from it? Are you willing to give a man a try who wants to love or will you push him away- until he feels hurt and helpless?